Looking Around

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

The texts from the RCL (revised common lectionary) for this week may be found in a variety of places. I prefer, for ease of simplicity, and for initial reading, to visit a helpful site hosted at the Vanderbilt Divinity School. Their URL http://divinity.library.vanderbilt.edu/lectionary can be easily accessed and just a little bit of poking around will lead you to the texts each week as well as some images of various artistic works chosen for each week. The translation featured is the NRSV.

This week the texts are:

Hebrew Bible: Genesis 28:10-19a – The Story of Jacob’s Dream of a Ladder
Psalm: Psalm 139:1-12, 23-24 or Psalm 86:11-17
Epistle: Romans 8:12-25
New Testament: Matthew 13:24-30, 36-43

Later in the week I may turn to the other texts but I want to begin the week’s reflection by reading the gospel lesson. I encourage you to read it aloud and even better to read it aloud with one other person. Read it once then relax with a bit of quiet. Read it a second time and then after a minute of quiet consider a simple question: what did you hear?

Matthew 13:31-33, 44-52
13:31 He put before them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field;
13:32 it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches."
13:33 He told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour until all of it was leavened."
13:44 "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
13:45 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls;
13:46 on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.
13:47 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind;
13:48 when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad.
13:49 So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous
13:50 and throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
13:51 "Have you understood all this?" They answered, "Yes."
13:52 And he said to them, "Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like the master of a household who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old."

What did you hear?

I find myself drawn to verse 44, "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

I often feel that I don’t know what I am looking for. Not always. For example when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer I knew exactly what I was looking for. I was looking for the kind of help that would get the cancer out of my body. I am told by my surgeon that this has been accomplished. Now I want to regain control of my body and am frustrated with the pace of progress.

Mostly, however, I don’t often feel I know what I am looking for. The scriptural text, of course, has something larger in time scale and dimension in mind, than passing events, even the passing event of one’s health.

If I am honest I am envious of the ‘great joy’ of the one who having found what they desire then bury it and buy the land now cradling their treasure.

I think one of the very hardest questions of life is the simple inquiry, “What do you want?” Indeed I think prayer and meditation devoted to this single question can more than occupy my entire soul.  By contrast we are often more able to say what we don't want than to express our heartfelt longing.  In other words I knew I didn't want cancer - who does - but just what do I want.  It occurs to me that a large part of my life has been lived resisting what I have even while I am unable to clearly say what I want.  

Matthew, in his gospel, presents Jesus as one who clearly desires for others to know what he knows.  Jesus knows something about the Kingdom of Heaven that is a bit elusive.  Is the Kingdom of Heaven anything more than the epitome of our desires?  Of course, and yet our failure to be grasped by the presence of the Kingdom may have more do with the fact of our desires than the absence of the Kingdom.  Perhaps the Kingdom remains far off, in part, because I am not so eager for the Kingdom to break into history.  This is odd in light of the common prayer, "Thy Kingdom come.."

What about you? What do you want? And on what time line and what scale? Many of you may know the U2 song that gets at this, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”. The chorus is more well known than the text. It is a simple repetitive and, I think, haunting echo of the song’s title. Later we may take up the verses. For now I encourage you to simply read, listen and think and pray – what do you want – would you know it if you had it, saw it, were given it or tripped over it?

Finally I have included a picture for the week. The picture, “The Buried Treasure” is from Cameroon from the Jesus Mafa community. Learn more about this group here, http://www.jesusmafa.com/anglais/pagehistof2.htm.